Don't Break the Code

It is said that a person's name has a strong influence on who they are and what they will become. As it relates to personal safety, a child's name is a very important piece of personal information that needs to be kept secure. Hundreds of mail-order vendors offer personalized products for children that display their names to the public. Although it might be cute for a child to have their name embroidered on the back of their jacket or across their lunchbox, parents should be careful to keep their children's names away from casual strangers. Many children feel secure around people who know their name and would pay closer attention to them than someone who simply addressed them as "little girl" or "little boy". However, even with the best precautions, it is sometimes impossible to keep strangers from learning a child's name. That is why the use of a code word is so important. It is far more difficult for a potential abductor to learn a well-guarded code word than a child's name.

Some school districts require the use of a code word before they will allow someone they do not know to pick up a child. If a code word is not required by the school, families can institute a family code word program where children are taught not to go anywhere with anyone who does not know the code word. A family code word can be invaluable for younger children and even more important to pre-teens and teenagers who are increasingly on their own. Children and teenagers are more prone to listen to a stranger if the person uses their name as demonstrated in the following true story:

A teenage girl and her mother were shopping in a large mall. The girl wanted to go to a gift shop popular with teens and the mother wanted to go to a department store in the mall. The mother said, "OK, June, go to (the gift store) and then meet me at (the department store) in an hour." At that, mother and daughter went separate ways. A few minutes after June arrived at the gift store, a woman approached her and told her that something had happened and that her mother had sent the woman to get her. The woman used June's name and the name of the store where her mother was supposed to be. When June asked the woman for a code word, she quickly fled. If June and her mother had not set up the code word between them, June might have trusted that her mother had truly sent the woman because she knew all of the right information.

Code words can make children feel more secure as they grow and become independent. Code words should be simple enough to remember but obscure enough not to be obvious to a potential abductor. Avoid the use of pet names, favorite TV characters or physical traits that may be easily guessed. Also, parents should remind their children not to reveal the code word to anyone. Parents can test their child's ability to remember the code word but not reveal it by role playing potential situations and asking trusted family members to test the child by asking them what their code word is. If the code word is revealed, it has to be changed. Remember, stay safe, and don't break the code.

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