Keeping an Eye on Baby

Contrary to popular belief, the time to start keeping an eye on your baby isn't when he can wander away on his own. Parents today must be vigilant from the moment the baby is born.

Hospital Savvy
With past incidents of baby-snatchings from nurseries, more and more hospitals have implemented security measures to keep their youngest patients from being kidnapped. Some of these include video cameras in the nursery, computerized chips in bracelets worn by the babies that cause alarms to go off, and identical bracelets for mothers and children, which arose out of the baby-switching tragedies.

But it is up to new parents to never assume that the hospital has taken care of these concerns. If possible, tour the maternity ward beforehand and ask pointed questions about their security procedures. If, as often happens, you find yourself giving birth in a hospital other than the one you had chosen, you can ask while in labor, or have your birth coach ask and get the information for you.

Fortunately, the old-style nursery where babies are kept separated from their mothers except for feedings is fading away. New "birthing centers" are emerging where babies "room in" with mothers. Some hospitals even tell mothers that if they need to use the bathroom or go anywhere where they can't see their baby, then they should find a nurse to watch the baby for that time.

If you find yourself in a hospital with lax security and separated babies and mothers, post a good friend on guard duty outside the nursery. If it sounds extreme, it's actually less so than the pain of losing a newborn.

Going Home
Once out of the hospital, your work as baby-guard has just begun. Though it sounds emotionally-taxing, in fact most parents just naturally keep an eye on their babies. But sometimes everyone becomes distracted, especially if there's an older sibling around needing attention.

The stream of visitors wanting to see a new baby can range from the grandparents to co-workers. Most doctors will tell you to keep your baby away from a lot of people the first few weeks, while he boosts his immune system. But for those you don't completely know and trust, always be in the room while they visit.

Once the baby has been given the green light to go out into the world (shopping, walks, etc.) a whole other aspect of vigilance emerges. While shopping, never walk more than an arm's length away from your baby, even if it's just to grab a product just out of reach. In public, your tiny, portable child can be snatched in a heartbeat. Your baby will be even safer if it is in one of the newer "buckets" that doubles as a car seat once on a base. These "buckets" usually click into the seat portion of shopping carts, providing an extra measure of safety (the car seat won't slip out) and another barrier. Keeping the baby strapped in while in the car seat, in the cart, provides for quite a time-consuming removal, as you'll undoubtedly discover - over and over again.

Day Care
If you must leave your child in day care, look closely at the number of workers to the number of children. Will they even notice your baby other than when he cries? Look at the number of non-workers that come and go. While it's important that you, as a parent, be able to drop in unexpectedly, would anyone notice if one of the other parents, whom you don't know, came in, scooped up your child and left? Does the staff seem alert or sort of flaky? (Remember, day care providers are among the lowest-paid workers, anywhere so while many of them are competent, some will not be.)

If you're leaving your child in a home-based day care, how easy would it be for someone to sneak in the house unnoticed? Get references on your choices and check them thoroughly. Check with your state's agency and find out if any of your potential providers have complaints or violations. Have your potential provider, as well as other workers, spouses, friends or significant others that will be allowed in while your child is there, been fingerprinted by local law enforcement? Have you run a background (Megan's Law) check on each one? Just because your provider trusts someone, doesn't mean that you should. Check each name with local law enforcement agencies, and then drop in at odd times as often as you can.

Your child will never be as safe in a business environment as he or she will be with you. But you can minimize the chances of anything going wrong by doing the research and by being alert.

"Can I Hold Your Baby?"
Other public situations can often bewilder and confuse us long enough to make a mistake. Oftentimes complete strangers will ask if they can hold your baby. If you think about it, this is a rude request. You, as a parent, don't know if this person, is mentally sound, has some contagious virus, has good balance and won't drop your child or is a front person for an abductor. The fact is, when you're out in public, unless you're with your spouse or trusted friend, you and your baby will be joined at the hip. You are your baby's only protector in a situation like this. Practice in front of the mirror if you have to, but in each case, answer politely, "Not right now, thank you." Even as he gets older and can sit on his own in the cart, take time to buckle him in and use the handicapped stall, cart and all, when you need to use the restroom, don't leave him with anyone, however trustworthy, for even a moment. If your hands are full and they are offering you assistance, let them carry your drinks to the table. Not the baby.

Just Because Someone Else is Pushing the Cart, You're Not Off the Hook
Many times, someone else such as Grandma, your best friend or even your teen-aged sister will be pushing the cart or the stroller. Do not suppose that their level of diligence anywhere near approximates yours. Your mom may have raised her kids in an era where mothers didn't think of kids disappearing; and let's face it; your teenaged sister will walk away if it means that a poster of her favorite band is on the other side of the aisle. It's okay to let someone push, just stay an arm's length away.

Though it might sound as if everyone is out to steal your child, that's rarely the case. Actually, it's a matter of common sense and good habits. Once you've got these down, the stress will disappear and it will simply become second nature. Since even one hundredth of one percent, however, is too many, it's best for all parents to be alert.

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