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Counter the Lies - Protect Your Child
By Mike Knox, The Gang Guy
Denial is the first hurdle any community must overcome when dealing with youth violence. No community is free from its influence, but many choose to ignore it out of fear.
Street gangs are a clear example. Most people prefer not to think about gangs in their communities, at their schools or in their neighborhoods. Typically, institutions and individuals use a crisis-management approach. In the case of street gangs or youth violence, you see a lot of zero tolerance, a flurry of rule making and law changes. Suppression can control, but can never remove, a problem.
Suppression tactics are certainly easier and are, to some degree, effective in helping a community feel safe. True safety, however, comes from the elimination of risk and requires extra effort on the part of a community.
Violent groups promise three important things to their members; safety, belonging and respect. The most effective method of dealing with gangs, and youth violence, is to counter these root promises.
It is mathematically impossible for any gang to protect its own members. Membership in a gang exponentially increases each member's risk of injury or death. (The formula: Population of the county, or province, where the gang resides - the number of members of your gang = Total Enemy Pool)
Gangs are the opposite of families.
A family sacrifices in two directions. The family makes sacrifices benefiting the individual member. Individual members of a family make sacrifices for the group. In a gang, the sacrifice pattern is one directional. The individual is required to sacrifice for the group. The gang makes no substantial sacrifice for the individual.
The promise of respect can be refuted.
Respect and fear do achieve similar results. Whether you respect or fear me, you will not invade my space. You will leave my things alone and will not likely steal from me. There is a huge difference between these two, which is rarely shared with young people.
- Fear is always repulsive. We do not want to be near anyone we fear.
- Respect is always an attraction. We do want to be closer to people we respect.
- Fear is a demand. I may not be able to make you respect me, but I can make you afraid of me.
- Respect is a gift, which must be given and can never be demanded of another person.
Fear is always easier to achieve than real respect. Consequently, many young people are attracted to violence because they truly believe fear and respect are the same.
Gangs and youth violence have existed on this continent for over 200 years because we have not told our youth the truth about violence. Instead we have tried to shelter them from the world's evil. If we want our children to grow up in a safer environment, we must counter lies with fact.
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