Talking About School Safety

Not since sex has a topic left so many parents feeling so tongue-tied as school violence. But like sex, talking about school safety is important to your child's well-being.

One concern many parents have about broaching the subject is that it will scare their children. But that fear should not stop the discussion from occurring. In fact, parents will typically feel better after discussing it. They'll know that their kids have the tools to avoid harm should an attack occur.

As for the kids themselves, it is the subjects that adults won't discuss, that are the most unsettling. Fear of the unknown is far worse than talking about something dangerous. Children are regularly exposed to violent images and newscasts that tell them our world is not a safe place. By talking with them, you will actually make them feel better.

As with other important discussions, you might feel a little better if you do your homework first. Purchase a book, find articles on the Internet, or ask local law enforcement officers how they'd discuss the subject with their own kids.

Begin by asking your children what they've heard about recent school shootings. Listen to what they say, and, if they've been misinformed (as kids often are after a story has circulated over and over again), give them the facts.

You might continue by asking how they feel about what they have heard. Do they think it could happen at their school?

This can lead to a discussion about the safety measures their school has taken toward preventing or dealing with such an occurrence. Have their teachers talked about it? Have they had assemblies or speakers discussing school shootings? Can they see any changes in safety around their school? If nothing has happened, make a mental note to call the principal and discuss it.

Discuss what to do if someone came to their school and began shooting. What are good places to hide? How would they get out of the building? How would they know if it was safer to run or hide?

Ask them to let you know if they ever hear one of their classmates discuss bringing a gun to school, or planning a school shooting. Discuss how important it is to tell someone about talk like this, even if they believe it is a joke.

Talk to your kids about bullies. Who are the bullies at their school? When one student is bullying another, what do the other kids do? Should your children report a bully? Why? How do they think the victim of bullying feels when it is happening? Who can a victim of bullying go to for help? Is bullying just something with which some kids have to deal?

Talk to them about weapons. Do they know of children who have brought weapons to school? Where did they hide them? Were those kids caught? What did they do when they saw that weapon or heard about it?

Let them know that you're there to listen, and help if they see or hear something at their school that could be dangerous. Your children will be glad that you've asked for their opinions and feelings.

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